There was no movement. The cavern was dark, still and silent. Even the sword was speechless. Gavriel, Vi and Dhurka stood motionless in the darkness, as still as statues. Well, statues of the non-animated, non-ches-playing variety.
Gavriel’s head turned, a jerky, stiff motion. His jaw worked soundlessly for a few moments before words managed to claw their way out.
“This…level…dangerous. Must…move…one…another.”
Vi suddenly shuddered and shook herself sensually. Eyes gleaming, the first thing she did was to stroke the sword in her hand.
“Oh my, I look good.”
Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her throat. A delighted laugh burst from her lips and rolled through the cavern. Answering shimmers of sound echoed back and several faery-lights gleamed into being.
The cavern was simple and utilitarian. Pillars grew up in strangely orderly rows, and alternated black with white. Vi glanced around, drinking in her surroundings.
The sword in her hand, by contrast, gave the impression of extreme affront.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
Dhurka suddenly gasped. After taking several deep breaths, her own scaly hands caught her attention. The resultant shriek of outrage nearly shook several stalactites free from their moorings.
“Swordlady’s tits! What the hell is going on?”
“Traded.” Gavriel worked his jaw. “Is rule of this place. Only way is to play. Here, play as other.”
“We can’t control our own bodies? Again? What is with you wizards? Is ‘control freak’ in the job description?”
Don’t look at me! I didn’t design this place. Gods know if I had, I’d’ve gone with something other than ‘basic black and white’ for the décor.
“Thank the gods for small miracles,” Dhurka hissed.
Hey! What is that supposed to mean?
“I don’t know, smart guy. You tell me. Taking this option out was your idea, wasn’t it?”
And I stand by my decision.
“Stand? That’s rich, coming from a legless hunk of tin!”
“I beg your pardon,” Vi cut in. “I must protest! I am not a hunk of tin. Such accusations are both unladylike and unjust, and have no place in polite discussion.”
“Give me my body back,” Dhurka hissed at Vi.
You think you want your body back? Honey, get in line.
“I’ve missed having eyes the most,” Vi murmured wistfully, still looking around her.
Hands. I miss my hands,
“Well, I can’t say that’s a surprise,” Dhurka snapped. “Given how often you—”
I’ll thank you to leave my spellcasting out of this.
The swordblade frosted over, slightly. Dhurka snorted. A little gobbet of green snot shot out of her nose. She pretended not to notice.
“Oh, yeah, like I was talking about your spellcasting.”
“Focus!” Gavriel snarled. “Stupid humans and talking sword must focus. Great danger here.”
“Fine,” Dhurka said sarcastically, “let’s get out of here then.”
She turned slightly and began to stalk off towards the pillars. Gavriel involuntarily took a step after her. As soon as he did, a string of curses burst from his mouth.
“Stupid human! Wait. No turning or turning back. Now we stuck.”
Dhurka froze.
“Excuse me?”
“Can only move forward. Once gone forward, cannot go back.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Kid? No. No kid. Dead serious. Look.”
Gavriel pointed to the space directly in front of Dhurka. She turned. A tall white pillar stood in front of her, blocking her forward progress. Dhurka tried to step around. Her feet remained frozen to the floor. Gavriel sighed.
“Is no use. You moved. It intercept. You stuck.”
“Why didn’t you warn me?”
“I tried! You never shut up! Stupid human is stupid.”
Ladies, ladies. Calm down. We can get out of this. All we have to do is—what are you doing? No, no, bad idea, stop…
Vi had taken the full length of her hair in hand. With one decisive motion, she raised the sword and sliced through it, shearing it off short. The razor sharp blade slid through easily. Casually, she opened her hand and let the severed braid fall to the floor. It landed and a sense of doom surged through the cavern like the ringing of a gong.
“That’s better.” Vi shook her head. “Long hair is so inappropriate on a swordswoman. Where’s my dagger? I need to get the rest.”
For a moment, no one moved.
“You. Cut. My. Hair.”
The words ground out of Dhurka with all the speed, force and inexorable determination of a glacier. The gobliness was frozen to the ground, unable to move, but her every look was a promise of death. Vi’s eyes widened and she took a step back.
“No! Stupid sword.” Gavriel burst out.
What a fabulous time to be without a means of self-locomotion.
A pillar of white stone appeared behind Vi. She backed right into it. The swordswoman turned, surprised. The pillar stared back, expressionless stone.
Hey, Dhurka, or me, or…whatever. How long until the pillars change into something that attacks us?
“Pillars no change. Goblins come. Is goblin home, this level. I hate this level. All goblins hate this level. But goblins hate Dhurka too. They going to kill Dhurka.” Gavriel’s voice was sad.
Wait. Kill which Dhurka? The body with Vi in it, or Gavriel’s body, I mean, my body?
“Both,” Gavriel replied glumly.
“Let them come,” Dhurka hissed.
Shut up, Vi.
“Make me, swordboy.”
How’d you like me to help her shave your head?
“You wouldn’t dare!”
Try me.
“Hsst!” Gavriel’s hand shot up. “They come.”
“Let them.” Vi adjusted her grip on the sword, eyes gleaming. “Bloody, glorious battle! It has been too long.”
What? No! Oh hells no! You are so not using me to–
***
Leibrev’s sword drove straight through the creature’s eye, killing it instantly. It shuddered and sloughed off the blade. Leibrev made a slight moue of disgust and stepped back from the rapidly decomposing mass.
Valeral dusted the last of the enchantment from his fingers and stepped up next to his partner.
“Nice thrust,” he murmured.
“It was rather good, wasn’t it?” Leibrev grinned.
“Oh ho,” Valeral forced a laugh, “aren’t we full of ourselves. You would have been mincemeat if it wasn’t for me.”
“Hrm, I suppose I can give you half the credit. You were rather spellbinding.”
Leibrev reached over and rapped his knuckles against a statue of smooth gray stone. The monster was rampant, frozen by Valeral’s sorcery in the instant it had lunged for Leibrev’s back.
The duo laughed and continued deeper into the dungeon.
***
A skritching sound crept through the cavern. It was an all too familiar experience. Dhurka patted herself down, looking for a weapon.
“I don’t have a weapon,” she growled.
What do you expect? You’re the one that searched that body and took away anything remotely resembling an implement of war, violence or teeth-cleaning.
“Spellcast me one.”
I can’t! No hands.
Dhurka groaned. Gavriel began to fold into himself, trying to become as small as possible. Vi’s eyes glowed. She was smiling with unmitigated delight.
“At last, after all these years, to have a body again, to face a worthy foe without foul enchantment or entangling sorcery. It will be glorious. For Duty, for Deity and for Justice!”
Oh, you are so not using me to bust skulls and skewer goblins! That is disgusting beyond words.
“It will be glorious.”
Bytche, I will cut you. So help me, if I have to spill blood, I’m taking yours as an advance payment.
“That is a drawback to being flesh I had not considered.”
“So what do we do?” Dhurka demanded. “We can’t just stand here and get swarmed.”
“They cannot attack head-on,” Gavriel offered.
“They can’t?” Dhurka pounced on that.
“But neither can you.” Gavriel sank back into himself.
Dhurka hissed and slammed her fist into the stone pillar in front of her. Gavriel winced and rubbed his knuckles.
“Stop abusing my body, stupid human,” he muttered.
A white goblin ran screaming out of the shadows, a shortsword clutched in its dirty claws. It charged forward in a straight line, then leapt diagonally towards Dhurka. She howled with glee and tore into him, tooth and nail. In the end, even with the sword, he didn’t stand a chance. Dhurka snapped his neck and claimed his sword.
“That’s better,” she growled.
Gavriel looked away. He seemed faintly green around the gills. Vi was wrestling with her sword. It had somehow figured out how to remain perfectly transfixed in midair.
“This is most unjust! Move! I may have need of thee.”
The sword maintained a steadfast silence. Another goblin darted out of the shadows, this time headed for Gavriel. The sorcerer grabbed his head in pain and shouted. Vi stumbled as the sword freed itself from immobility. The goblin got a faceful of dark fire. Gavriel stared at the little black body in shock.
Take better care of my body, Dhurka!
“How did you do that?” Vi demanded.
The sword did not respond. It had gone immobile again. Vi sighed heavily and tugged at the sword.
“Stubborn…” she muttered.
Another goblin charged towards Dhurka. She faced it down, teeth bared in a vicious grin. It ran directly towards…and stopped right in front of her. She howled with glee and swung her sword at its face. The sword moved in the air, sweeping diagonally away each time she swung it. The goblin grinned and stuck out its tongue at her.
“What in the nine hells is wrong with this place?” she screamed.
The goblin laughed in her face. Gavriel degreenified slightly.
“All motion is forward, but no head on attacks. Only way is to play. Rules is rules.”
“These rules are incredibly stupid.”
Dhurka spat at the goblin in front of her. Even the spittle veered away from its intended target. The goblin stared at her and began to quite obviously pick its nose. Dhurka turned a very unhealthy shade of purple.
Cracked, roiling laughter crashed and surged around them. A figure slowly materialized out of the shadows, hanging in thin air about thirty feet away. A heavy cowl cast his features into impenetrable shadow, but he seemed to be composed of mismatched limbs, all long and spindly. Gleaming strings trailed from boney fingers, more than could be counted. Each one terminated at the base of a goblin’s skull. Dozens, perhaps hundreds half-stepped out of the surrounding darkness.
“Welcome home, Dhurka. We’ve missed you.”
As one, the massed goblins hissed with laughter, providing an eerie counterpoint to the mad cackle of the puppetmaster floating above.
Gavriel gulped.
***
The White Pawn watched, a bit nervously. Hundreds of black pawns swarmed the cavern. It wouldn’t do to draw any more attention than was strictly necessary. That would be counter-productive. A larger goal was at stake here.
***
No one moved. The puppetmaster appeared to be in no hurry to go in for the kill. Rather, he spoke to Dhurka with obvious delight.
“I see you’ve found some puppets of your own,” the figure continued. “Very impressive. Do you think you can challenge me? Take my place?”
“Who want your place?” Gavriel spat off and to the side.
“Everyone. There is not one of these, my puppets below, that wouldn’t trade its soul to rip out my heart and take my place.”
“Stupid goblins are stupid,” Gavriel hissed.
“You know, Dhurka,” the figure’s tone was suddenly very warm, very welcoming, “you could still come back. I have your string right here.”
A silvery thread materialized out of the shadows, draped somewhat forlornly over the puppetmaster’s right index finger. The figure shifted.
“You could come home again,” it entreated.
“Never,” Gavriel whispered.
“Then I’m afraid you and your puppets will have to die.”
The amassed goblins shifted, as one. The sound of all those feet moving in unison reverberated throughout the cavern. The pillars almost seemed to flow, like trees in a strong wind. Gavriel shouted.
Dark fire leapt from his lips and sped towards the puppetmaster. Boney fingers jerked reflexively and a goblin threw itself howling in front of its master. It died, twitching, in midair. The silver stand snapped and recoiled, leaving the body to thump to the ground in a small, still little heap.
“Well,” the puppetmaster breathed, “that was unexpected. You’ve learned a new trick, Dhurka. Your control is very impressive. Where did you find the sorcerer, I wonder.”
Gavriel shouted again. And again. And again. Dark fire blossomed from his lips. Another goblin died. Then another and another. The living masses stepped over the fallen, obscuring the bodies. They showed no signs of lessening.
“Very impressive.” The puppetmaster laughed. “But why not use some of your other toys, hmm? Or are you trying? That one seems to be twitching. Perhaps you haven’t figured out how to manage more than one at a time.”
The figure pointed to Vi, still tugging in vain at the sword.
“Come free,” she howled. “There are foes to be slain! In the name of all that is Just, just move.”
“Oh my.” The puppetmaster laughed. “Is that really the best you can do?”
“Actually, we can do you one better,” a cool voice slid from the shadows near the puppetmaster’s head.
The scene froze. Vi, speaking with her own voice, from her own body, hovered next to the puppetmaster on wings of shadow. The sword Neniel gleamed against the dark cloth of the Puppetmaster’s robes. The goblin hordes lost animation, frozen in time, unable to move or think of their own volition.
Gavriel and Dhurka faded into view on either side of the swordswoman. Trailing strands of shadow flowed from Gavriel’s fingertips to the figures facing down the horde of goblins. He twitched his left pinkie and the puppet Vi struck a sexy pose. It blew a kiss up toward the hanging forms above.
“Shadow-rune-hairballs,” Vi said smugly. “Who knew you could spin perfect doppelgangers out of a single strand of hair and a patch of darkness? I guess you’re not the only guy in town with his own personal puppetshow.”
“Interesting,” the puppetmaster whispered. “Very interesting.”
“I think it’s time you showed us the way to the lower level,” the swordswoman said sweetly. “That is, unless you want me to carve you a shiny new smile.”
“No need for that. I’ll show you the way to the next level. It’s right over there, actually.”
A thin boney finger pointed to an unremarkable stone pillar. Gavriel glanced at it. Vi loosed a predatory grin.
“And what do we do next?”
“Next? I expect next, you die.” The puppet master burst out laughing and dissolved into string and shadow. The pillar began to melt and flow like wax, sinking down and dissolving to reveal a featureless hole. A tall, thin goblin hovered in midair, a set of sable strings flowing from his fingers.
“Fools,” he cackled, “fools all to think to play the Puppetmaster and win. You have no idea what you’re up against!”
The party floated in midair, struck motionless and speechless. The horde of goblins howled and swarmed upwards, scaling the pillars that filled the room. The mad goblin puppetmaster cackled with glee as spell and sword rose to meet tooth and nail. Flashes of darkness and streaks of white light filled the air and the cavern was drowned in blood and battle. It was perfect, pitched chaos.
In the confusion, three figures darted from concealment, past the fracas and through the exit. They paused once safely through.
“He has no idea we slipped past him, does he?” Vi smiled from the shadows, hidden in the hole.
“None whatsoever,” Gavriel murmured back. “Although it was a bit of a close thing, with so many goblins, the hidden agenda, and the exit only appearing there at the end. Still, we managed to slip though at just the right moment, there at the end.” The sorcerer shifted slightly to get a better view.
“I suppose we can stop playing now,” Vi said almost regretfully. She shook several black strands from her fingers. Above, the puppets she had been controlling slipped into the slack-jawed motions of automatons.
Gavriel did likewise and the two turned to examine the tunnel ahead.
Dhurka clung tightly to the rough stone of the tunnel, looking up with wide eyes.
“I have to admit, I didn’t think your plan would work,” Vi whispered. “But it did. Well done.”
“Well, Dhurka was a very great help. Thank you, Dhurka. I couldn’t have read so many moves ahead without you.”
“Dhurka just glad we slipped by when hole appeared. Lucky could still move.”
“More strategy than luck, but yes. Strange rules, in this place. Very strange.”
“At least you know how all the bloody ches-pieces move,” Vi groused. “Never thought knowing the stupid game would be requisite life knowledge.”
“Just goes to show, you know really know what life will throw at you.” Gavriel twitched his fingers one last time before loosing the doubled shadows. They’d run on auto-pilot for a good while.
“Time to go deeper.”
Gavriel began to descend deeper into the darkness. Vi nodded. She loosed her threads and followed. Dhurka watched them go for a moment. She toyed with the shadow-string still in her hands. She looked upwards once more. Her eyes narrowed and she yanked the string once, viciously.
Somewhere amidst the battle and bloodshed and chaos above, one puppet moved with quick, sure movements, guided by an expert hand. The Goblin King was lost in his own mad ecstasy as his foes were torn to shreds before him. He never saw his death slinking through the shadows.
There was a scream from above and a small shower of blood rained down. Dhurka turned her face upwards to catch it. It was warm on her face. She ran her tongue over her lips and savored the bitter taste.
“Exile is hell, old man, and so is payback” she whispered. “Your turn is over. Time to let someone else play at being king of the pawns.”
With that, the gobliness sank into the darkness, following Gavriel and Vi.
***
A piece on the board shattered. A hiss of displeasure leaked from the shadows. It was a loss. His first loss. It stung. No matter. That piece was easily replaced. His opponent’s pieces had already quit the board.
The figure reached out and advanced a black pawn at random. As soon as it touched the King’s Square, it morphed into the relevant piece. Small matter.
Hot eyes turned to the active gameboards. The game was quickening. Strategy must become commensurately ruthless. The Grandmaster chuckled and set once more to moving pieces across the boards of the dungeon.
To Be Continued…
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